Category: Musings

It’s A Little A Lot: MS rehab at Synaptic

It’s A Little A Lot: MS rehab at Synaptic

Day 2 of MS neuro rehab at Synaptic and my physiotherapist Jill has the best phrase. “It’s a little a lot.” As in, it’s a lot. It’s a little too much. Turns out I love the ‘clock’ game, but my enthusiasm was a little a lot. I needed to bring it down about two notches …

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I’m Tired Of Covid & Herd Stupidity

I’m Tired Of Covid & Herd Stupidity

This is a cull post. If this post offends you, please unfriend me and never speak to me again. I want you to. Seriously. Herd stupidity is flourishing because people are too tolerant, too kind, too compassionate. Especially during Covid. I’m out of all those traits. I’m suffering under a crushing depression right now. What’s …

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Hope Is A Dangerous Thing

Hope Is A Dangerous Thing

Hope is my least favourite feeling. People are starting to ask me if I’m excited about starting neuro rehab with the PONS device in a couple weeks. I don’t feel like explaining my complicated emotional landscape to them. I know they mean well, but I’m not going to an all-inclusive resort for a vacation. Some …

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My Disability Is NOT A Moral Failing

My Disability Is NOT A Moral Failing

My disease and disability in not a moral failing. It’s not because I’m a bad person or I made a stupid decision like drunk driving, or I didn’t know how to be healthy. See below for evidence. I was fit, active, and healthy. Until I wasn’t. I have a disease and it’s left me disabled. …

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I Lost Everything & Found What Matters

I Lost Everything & Found What Matters

In the past year and a bit, I lost everything but I found what matters. For all the bad, there’s been a lot of good too. Emotionally and mentally, I feel better than I have in a really long time. The upside of getting sick and then the arrival of Covid? I finally felt like …

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Finding My Way Back To Myself

Finding My Way Back To Myself

Last year, I didn’t just lose my ability to walk unassisted, all my money, my ability to work, and my faith in people. I lost myself too, and I didn’t even realize until recently. Someone I hadn’t seen in quite awhile saw me recently with my cane. I could tell my cane upset them. When …

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Challenge Accepted…Learning to Trust My Body Again

Challenge Accepted…Learning to Trust My Body Again

At the end of July, I signed up for the Ring of Kerry virtual challenge, because I’m crazy. My very existence now is a challenge, so why not add a little something extra? The virtual Ring of Kerry challenge is 124 miles (200km) either walking, running, or cycling. I can’t walk more than a mile …

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Boundaries, Abusers, Alcohol & Mean Girls

Boundaries, Abusers, Alcohol & Mean Girls

I’ve only started establishing boundaries in the last couple years and I’ve learned that you can learn a lot about people when you set boundaries for your self-respect and well-being. You also learn a ton about people when they don’t get what they want. In future, I’m going to set boundaries sooner as a way …

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Experiences Instead Of Accomplishments

Experiences Instead Of Accomplishments

Waking up disabled last October changed a lot of things, including my mindset, which has done a complete 180. I used to be all about accomplishments. Now I’m only interested in experiences. Experiencing something feels better than accomplishing something. My entire life, I was always rushing and striving to accomplish things. I had this unconscious …

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A Splendid Mess
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