For three years, I’ve felt a certain way whenever I had to leave my house and I recently realized it was shame. I felt a lot of shame about being disabled and needing a cane. Partly, it’s how society treats disabled people as less than, inconvenient, or somehow deficient as human beings. Partly, it was …
This month, I had my first Ocrevus infusion, had a birthday, and got my second infusion. Now I’ve had my loading doses, I’m good for six months before I go spend another day at the infusion clinic Suck it, B cells. The highlights: The pharmacist who prepared the infusions checked in afterwards to see how …
This post is a brain dump. By recapping the last couple years and some things I learned, I’m hoping to clarify for myself what finally got me to this splendid place. Something definitely clicked a little while ago. I definitely critically examined every deeply rooted belief I could think of over the last 25 months. …
I start immunosuppression next week. Do I love the idea of suppressing my immune system during a pandemic? Nope. (And we are still in a pandemic, just to be clear.) I also don’t love the idea of my overzealous immune system snacking on my brain and spinal cord. Like I told someone the other day, …
I’m about to show my overzealous and melodramatic immune system who’s boss. I also had a medication adjustment and I’m feeling much more like myself for the first time in ages. There are, of course, days when I’m not feeling great and my demeanour is a bit more subdued. Mostly though, it’s been great to …
Six months ago, I started a new medication to hopefully prevent new lesions in my brain and spinal cord. In that six months, I’ve gained almost thirty pounds. I’m frequently nauseated, dry heaving, pukey, and enjoying random and sudden bouts of explosive diarrhea. I’m nervous to eat, yet I still managed to get fat. I …
I’m so fed up with hypocrisy and fakery and lying, Can we normalize telling the truth? And by that I mean, the actual truth. See, a trend started awhile ago that screamed for authenticity. Everyone wanted authenticity, and transparency, and truth. Most people were lying about wanting that. They think they want that. It’s an …
Today is a bad day. Today, I have visible and obvious disabilities. It’s -30C and I can barely walk, but I left the house anyway. I struggled, but I’m learning to take up space just as I am. Since October 0f 2019, I’ve left my house to go for groceries about twice a month, mostly …
I ran like the wind! (If the wind was a barely moving air current propelled by a broken, rattling fan missing 3 of its 4 blades, squeaking with every revolution then yes, I ran like the wind.) But it doesn’t matter because I ran 5 intervals on the treadmill at 3.5 mph and it wasn’t …
Lord jeeeeesus I hope I survive this depression phase of my life so I can fondly look back at it as my Bat Shit Crazy phase and have it be just another crappy memory. Reader Discretion Warning: This isn’t a feel good post. You might want to make make yourself a chip sandwich because I’m …
