This post is a brain dump. By recapping the last couple years and some things I learned, I’m hoping to clarify for myself what finally got me to this splendid place. Something definitely clicked a little while ago. I definitely critically examined every deeply rooted belief I could think of over the last 25 months. …
I’ve spent a lot of time in life being sorry for the feelings of others. I was sorry if I offended anyone. I was really sorry if I let anyone down. Someone mad at me would send me into an anxiety storm. Don’t even get me started on what I’d feel if I thought someone …
In the past year and a bit, I lost everything but I found what matters. For all the bad, there’s been a lot of good too. Emotionally and mentally, I feel better than I have in a really long time. The upside of getting sick and then the arrival of Covid? I finally felt like …
Last year, I didn’t just lose my ability to walk unassisted, all my money, my ability to work, and my faith in people. I lost myself too, and I didn’t even realize until recently. Someone I hadn’t seen in quite awhile saw me recently with my cane. I could tell my cane upset them. When …
I’m not a doctor or a psychologist, I just have cPTSD and MS (I like to overachieve). Trying to cope with and recover as best I can from both, I’ve started to wonder if PTSD is more a nervous system disorder than the mental illness it’s considered. Hear me out on this… Folks who don’t …
Once upon a time, I held a deep core belief that I don’t really matter. Believing that I didn’t matter wasn’t a character flaw, it was conditioning. There were no consequences for the horrible caregivers and kids at school who bullied me on a whole other level of cruelty. In fact, it seemed to be …
Friday was a bad day. It hadn’t been, until someone unexpectedly phoned me from the MS clinic, and the conversation sent me into an emotional tailspin thanks to PTSD issues. It probably didn’t help that I was 70 hours into a mimicked fast and had just started my period. I was hangry, crampy, and when …
